If Poodles Wore Pantsuits: Why Is It So Hard for Hillary Clinton To Be Likable?

hillary pantsuit

This has been a nagging issue for me for a long time. In an election, that includes the likes of some of the most unlikable political candidates of all-time, how is it that Hillary Clinton has not wiped the floor with her supposed competition? I have spent months trying to figure it out. I looked at most of her political stances; pretty good to me. I looked and studied the way other senators and members of President Obama’s cabinet talked about Hillary Clinton as a leader; most had pretty high remarks of her work ethic and dedication to passing qualitative legislation. Then, one day, it all clicked. It’s the motherfucking pantsuits.

Here a couple of thoughts that came to mind when I looked at this picture above:

“Hillary Clinton looks like Katie Couric’s grandmother.”

“Hillary Clinton looks like a carrot.”

“Hillary Clinton shops, apparently, at a store that only sells the outfits Veronica Corningstone wore on Anchorman.”

“Hillary Clinton is completely out of touch with American Culture.”

That last one was the one that stuck with me. Jokes about Hillary Clinton’s wardrobe choices are not some ad hominem way of getting around her abilities as a candidate, nor are they meant to detract from what her message truly is, I promise. In fact, I think these pantsuits may, in fact, represent the larger issue that many people have with Hillary Clinton; that as smart and qualified as she may be, none of us are totally sold on Hillary Clinton as a person. No, I do not believe she is a war criminal, a liar, or incompetent. I do believe, however, that as badly as I want to believe I would vote for her, something keeps holding me back.

Clinton’s main issue is that she seems to be trying to hard to become likeable. She wants you to believe she is in touch with what you like or care about. She goes on Ellen DeGeneres’ show and does “The Whip/Nae Nae” not because she knows what the fuck that is, but because she believes that song is important to you. Rather than spend the time to get to know her base, she has spent the better part of twenty years pretending to already understand it. She can’t seem to stop tripping over her own feet, and it probably has something to do with the pantsuit being too long.

What Hillary doesn’t realize is that when she focuses on the actual progressive issues that her young, liberal base wants her to speak about, she is fucking spectacular. She’s coherent, she’s specific, and she has the record in congress to at least prove that she can work with just about any congressional layout she could be given. It’s when she decides to stray from those issues in order to make a point that she believes will increase her popularity that problems ensue.

Take, for instance, her Nancy Reagan comments. Letting herself become so worried that the conservatives would turn the media against her if she didn’t say something positive about Nancy Reagan after her death, she chose to make the most miscalculated of all statements and gave the former first lady credit for bringing AIDS to national attention which, simply put, was wrong. To put it simply, Nancy Reagan was responsible for AIDS awareness the same way the 8th grade math teacher who didn’t even know you were in their class was responsible for you graduating a masters program.

The pantsuits are the perfect representation of the biggest faults Hillary Clinton possesses as a candidate. They represent a person we cannot relate to, but desperately want to. Hillary and her candidacy are like the aunt that gives you a commemorative coin for christmas every year; although it’s a thoughtful gift, it’s not what we wanted and we have no idea what to do with it.

To put this in broader context, Hillary is running against a literal and metaphorical shit show of a Republican Party, currently, and still isn’t a unanimous victor. Her potential opponents are John Kasich (the personification of marmalade), Ted Cruz ( a face, that if it had arms, would punch itself), and Donald Trump (enough said), and yet people still have to pause a minute before they decide if she’s better than them. If she’s better than Donald Trump…if Hillary Clinton is better than Donald Trump…we have to actually sit and think about that one.

I would like to see Hillary Clinton become president, personally. She’s the most qualified, she’s intelligent, and she has the potential, over all the other candidates, to make a real difference in office. I would also like to see her not continue to cover up her ongoing issues with her personal emails. I would like to see her fully respond to her statements about african-americans and “super-predators”. I want to see her relax for a minute, and give me an actual glimpse of what she’s really like as a person. Say what you will, about Barack Obama, but none of us ever had any question about what he was like as a person when the office wasn’t at stake. Maybe it is just in Hillary’s DNA to always be trying too hard and working for our approval, or maybe I am just seeing things. All I know, is that every time those pantsuits appear on my TV, something else inside me starts to worry. I hope one of these day she can put that anxiety to rest.

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